How to be a HAPPY Mom

Are you happy?

I ask because I am on a path to be more conscious of my emotions. We live in a doing world where people are so busy doing that we hardly take time to ‘BE’.

As I get in touch with myself, I realise being happy is a learned skill. While I love every emotion, because they are there to inform us, I prefer me when I am positive. It is emotionally uplifting, contagious and overall creates a happy home environment. With 5 kids, constantly testing boundaries, these are 5 ways I remind myself to shift out of my gloominess.

1. Acknowledge the emotion

When we label an emotion, our amygdala calms down and starts a process of ‘normalising’. 3 statements I say to myself.   A)“I am feeling  (name the emotion).” Just the act of identifying the emotion transforms it into something i am now conscious of. Instead of screaming and not being aware. As I shift into my conscious state, the emotion actually stops growing. (Try it) B) "It is okay to feel (emotion)”  I use to avoid certain negative emotions because they are frowned upon. Yet, When I embrace that every emotion is communicating something to me. for e.g. Anger signals I’ve reached my boundaries, have unmet expectations or I have a thwarted intention, it now allows me to choose my course of action.   C) Because I am feeling (emotion), I am going to (name an  action). After I allow myself to FEEL the emotion, this sentence puts me in a space where I can exercise my conscious choice. The action ranges from dancing, to drinking water, to hugging my kids. i continue that action till the tide of emotions pass. Then, I get those were just emotions that I do not need to succumb to.

2. Magic of “3-1-6”

I love this because it focuses my mind on something other than my emotions. We all know deep breathing calms us, yet the need to count the seconds actually requires conscious thought and shifts me out of my emotional state faster than just holding my breathe indefinitely. Memorise these numbers because they are the same numbers that I fall asleep to.   A) Inhale 3 second, counting “1 thousand, 2 thousand, 3 thousand..”  B) Hold your breath for “1 thousand count" and then  C) Exhale for 6 seconds.  This slows down the heartbeat and naturally, normalises our emotions to a more rational level. 3. SMILE/LOL  If you need a reason to smile or laugh out loud. SMILE because it increases your endorphins, dopamine and serotonins. These are happy homes and because the act of laughing is tied with these, the body assumes you are happy and generates these ‘feel good neuro-transmitters’. So, I laugh when I’m alone, I smile when I’m having a bad day and the longer I hold it there, the better I feel. Shifting your physiological body does change your internal emotions. Try it! Laughter is the best medicine!

4. Exercise

Another scientific reason to get your body moving. It does not matter what you do, whether it’s a brisk walk, jogging 5 rounds around your estate, or climbing the stairs. Each of us are at different levels of fitness, the main aim is to get your heart pumping. Runner’s high, or euphoric feelings are experienced after a workout and significantly shifts one to a more positive and energising outlook to life. We all know the benefits of exercising, yet our inertia is understandable. Once you’ve started on a routine, you’ll experience significant change in your emotions and are likely to enjoy exercising.

5. Connect with someone

I was feeling discouraged as my husband walked in the door. Instead of focusing on my work, I chose to go up to him and ask for a hug. The trick is to hug for at least 6 second. That releases oxytocin, which stirs up positive emotions of connection with another person. When you parent alone, you get depressed. When you surround yourself with positive friends, its amazing how your mood gets uplifted after every meet-up. Call a friend today to see how you can add value to their life. Or just to connect. We are all social beings who need to be reminded that connection, is one of the most powerful up-lifters in the world. 

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